Upward & Onward...

This week I brushed my hair for the first time in 10 ½ months without a brace in the way!

:)

When the x-ray technician (upon looking at the x-rays) asked if I’d been keeping my brace on 24/7 like I’m supposed to, I was sure that was an indicator that I’d be told another 6-week wait...

But, 

whilst the x-rays do show that there’s still a fair bit of healing needing to happen (so I’ll have more x-rays in January), there is suficient fusion for the neurosurgeon to be willing for me to start the weaning process…and, to go back on the rest of my meds.   !     He did make it clear that he’s not thrilled about the latter, but that it’s evident that my RA’s getting too much of an upper hand,  so it’s the necessary compromise (else he’s likely to see me for another fusion b/f this one’s done!). 

He warned me that this next phase won’t be easy w/ pain, spasms, etc, and I’ve at least 4 months of physio ahead of me, but it is nonetheless very nice to move on to the next stage!  (Not till well into physio will I know how much flexion I now have...for 'shoulder-checking' etc...oh, to be able to drive again!)

Resuming the rest of my meds will have its own challenges – Methotrexate is a chemo drug, so that means it’ll take a month or so of frequent nausea etc before I readjust, and even after only my first dose my hair is already filling both the brush and the shower drain again… but. But. But hopefully I will slowly get back to where I was about 2 ½ or 3 years ago, with energy, concentration, etc. Petit à petit. 

 The back of my head feels weird – it’s changed shape (mostly due to muscle loss I guess) – and my neck is pretty white with the exception of the circle in the front that wasn’t covered! I’ve got maybe 75% of my skull feeling back now. When the brace is off, sometimes the hair growing back in from the part shaved for surgery pokes out through the stuff on top, in a rather humorous version of 'rooster tail.' And now that my jaw has some periods of freedom, the severe jaw and ear pain (keeping me up for hours every night) has dropped significantly. Chelsea, the teen who’s lived with us since Feb, can’t stop staring at me when I do have the brace off – as she’s only ever known me with it on! She thinks I look really really different.  :)

'Hopefully this week's 'full-body' steroid shot is the last for quite a while...it hasn't really seemed to kick in this time round, so that dose may be losing efficacy on me anyways.

Focus, productivity, etc has def plummeted again, so please know, those many many of you out there, that I haven't 'forgotten', but am just trying to get back on track -- and it may take some time yet. In the big picture, crazy ventures like lecturing in Vancouver (September) are mental-&-emotional life-lines for me...but they are achieved in very 'stripped-down' fashion, and evenso, mean I've not much left in reserve for some time afterwards. I still do think it was def worth it, but I know it's not just me who then pays in consequence. (And honestly, when I look at a pict like below on a day like today, it seems like it must be a diff person! I include the pict b/c I know those two other smiles will make many of you, around the globe, smile: one of our groomsmen and one of our wedding readers...two of the reasons I decided the Vancouver trip was worth it.)

'Enjoying the two days of torrential rain drumming our metal roof, as we are still recovering from the drought,

even if it may hasten the end of some of this year's truly gorgeous autumnal colour 

('maple country' really is one of the best places to be in autumn!) --

with love to all,

and many many thanks for your care & prayers 

a gratefully healing Kirstin